5 Ways That You Can Improve Communication in Tutoring (or life)

This week I took part in training for our consultants at the community college where I work. Here are a few thoughts related to what was presented.

To clarify on terminology, we use the term consultant rather than tutor. We do try and distance ourselves from the stigma that students often perceive from receiving tutoring. If you are asking a consultant, you are seeking advice or guidance in an area that you may not be familiar. We feel that this sets the stage for a different type of thinking when working with students than the general perception that students can come with, “If I need to see a tutor, I must somehow be a failure.”

My parts in the training had to do with communication. In many jobs where we provide a service, our communication skills are often what really determine the success of an interaction, not necessarily the content that we deliver. So one of the most important areas we can improve is in the way we connect (or fail to connect) to others.

1) Be approachable. When we are working with others, does our demeanor invite others to speak to us, or do we give an appearance that they are bothering us? Greet the student. Ask their name, and when you speak, address them directly. If we put up barriers, whether literal or figurative, then people will stop trying to communicate with us. In the end that will kill business.

2) Go to where they are. This one is big, and is really a follow-up to #1. If we expect people to communicate with us, we often have to make the first step and go to them. This has a double message. Sometimes we have to speak using terms that they will understand before we can introduce all they fancy technical language. In addition we might have to go meet with them where they are comfortable, to bring them in.

3) Listen first. This is harder than it sounds. Many of us have developed a habit of being ready with a response before we have even heard the full content of the message. This happens a lot in many contexts, but (and here I go blaming the media) it is displayed a great deal on television. Pundits are notorious for cutting each off. We often see them responding to the first word they disagree with before the speaker even gets a sentence out. Instead of this, it is better to let the speaker finish and wait for a pause or break in thought before we respond.

4) Check for understanding.  What this means is, make sure that the message that was received was in fact the message was intended. Our speaking is full of many ambiguities, and people tend to leave content out that they believe is obvious. Be aware, that just because it is obvious to you, another listener may be completely oblivious to the message sent. One of the best ways clarity can be gained is with a mixture of paraphrasing and follow-up questions. Something like, “ Let me see if I got this right, you thought in factoring you were  supposed to…”, might be a useful to check the message you heard.

5) “I don’t know,” is not a bad phrase.  It is okay to tell people this, but remember it is not the end of the story. It is better to express our limitations, rather than take a wild guess and be wrong. Some things that are helpful when this situation comes up:

• Have a list in mind of resources you can pull from. This includes other people you can refer to.
• Modeling good study skills, questioning skills, and problem solving skills may actually be the solution that is necessary.
• Have the student to contact the instructor via email, phone or an office visit, and let them know that instructors are approachable, and are normally glad to have students come and ask them questions.

These are things that it took me quite a while to learn as a tutor, and I still slip into bad habits once in a while. Marshall McLuhan is famous for saying “The medium is the message.” I think this may be a big part of working with people in service jobs. The way we convey our message to others is in fact itself a big message to them as well. As you can see, much of this is directed at the tutoring situation, but I really think several of these points may apply to other areas of communicating as well. Well, minus the send to instructor part. I don't think a server in a restaurant can send a rude customer back to their teacher, but who knows?